His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
