Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
