that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
