All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
