just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
and you fell through a lawn chair
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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