so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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