I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
