No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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