grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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