When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
