I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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