What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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