Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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