I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Randomize