letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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