I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Houston, we have a blender
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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