I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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