We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize