Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
