his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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