is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need water and some morals
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
