i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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