Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
