community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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