Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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