is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
