How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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