Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
