i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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