took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
