i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Dear god my vagina.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
