I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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