I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
