i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize