i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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