I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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