Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
