do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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