We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Randomize
