i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
