you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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