I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Randomize
