My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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