i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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