Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
