tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
