did you get engaged???
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
