Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
