Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
