I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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