Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
