Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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