somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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