This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
