i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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