i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
