all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Drake has all the answers
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize