I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
