That's intense
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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