READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
