my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
